The one where North Platte's media attempts to inform citizens of car alternatives

I simultaneously laughed, buried my head in hand, then went for a walk.

NP Bulletin Headline: Gas prices turn heads toward bikes, bicycles

Article's 'hook' image choice:




(So good!!!)




You can read the article if'n you wish.

I scanned it and realized this was in fact North Platte's vile media forcing health and exercise onto the good people of the Planet under the guise of inflated gas prices. The article probably goes on to list non-D.U.I. reasons you might want a bike, but it was copied from some Wikipedia page.

Thankfully the photo of the obese-friendly sleek-modern 3 wheeled motorcycle reminded me that in fact, no one is getting close to one of those fancy euro-homo-pean bicycles.

And this is their "leftist" news source. You're safe North Platte. No one is going to make you ride a bike. Relax. Just go to Casey's on the north side.

Quick Ode

Sometimes things just need homage where homage is due.

Royal wedding you say? Try the marriage of relish and mustard. Two things that usually exist within inches of each other on the condiment line, blended in a bottle of pure American do-gooded-but-expend-minimum-effortness. Sort of like a predictable inter-racial couple. Like Kendra and Hank Basket. But more vinegar-ey.

Who wants to start a condiment blog? These guys tried it. (gah, with the 'nation' stuff)

"I invited a crazy person on this show"

This is funny stuff.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

S&G has something for your mother.

Once again, Schmitz & Giggles is up to no good. Except now they're going after your mom, with an entire line of Mother's day cards. Some offend. Some don't. Either way, you won't find cooler mother's day cards in any other non-asian country. Buy them here >

For your friday listening pleasure.

Screw those submarine jetski thingys.

Hello FlyNano.

via Be Sportier

June 24, 2011

Quite the Score for NebraskaLAND days.

Bad Lip-Reading to Rebecca Black's "Friday"

Pretty funny idea, fairly average execution. Regardless, laughs will be had.



You can see more Bad Lip-Reading on their YouTube channel.

New thing I also dig: Hipster Bashing

And a food truck hipster bashing combo is delicious.




Gah. Hipsters ruin everything they get their stupid fedora's near.

8 months ago I nearly sold my Scottie Pippen rookie card to buy a food truck. Now, I call the cops on them. Brick and mortar for me, please.

Look at this Fucking Hipster Food Truck. I don't know all the words this site uses, but I like 'em. Preach on Hipster bashers.

Oh, snap. My new favorite site.

Just go there.

Why am I becoming a Giants fan?

There's a number of reasons why I'm beginning to really like the SF Giants (the Freak, sweet stadium, proximate friendships).

But the biggest reason? Brian Wilson. Dude is nuts. And that's awesome.





Oh, and FYI, April is almost over, and the Royals are one game away from the best record in baseball. And Alex Gordon is playing like an All-Star. Trust me, I'm shocked-as-hell too.

A New Form of Team Training For Me

Check out the latest competition I helped prepare athletes (tactical athletes) for. http://www.30framesoffame.com/

The competition will be streamed live below, if everything works correctly.


Online TV Shows by Ustream

As if you needed a better deal in the 177

You do. That's the reason I signed up for Bighonkingdeal.com. For the deals and to save money. Not to make fun of them because they more than guarantee that every Wednesday morning in my inbox sits something more hilarious than last week. Not to laugh, but to save big money, honkingly. Like this week's new deal, which isn't funny, but is a legitimate whole-hearted deal:



I mean, you've been eyeing that one stack of dusty ballcaps and mini-road grader key chain (I'm guessing that's the only 'toy' they have). Its as if they're in your brain, these deal people.

Me, I'm holding out for $5 for $10 worth of sega genesis playing time at the Fun Castle.

The best reason to get a Twitter account.

That can be my next tweet. It looks at all the tweets you've ever posted, then jumbles the words into an absolutely random and hilarious tweet. Kinda like Twitter tourettes.

Here's some classics:

"Been in a writer. Scotch. Welcome back. Please take a rapper. This stuff tastes like fruit." -@bmohr1

"Thanks! Screw it, i'm wasting your resume ready! Ignore the tee-boxes need to go into a chinchilla." -@jelemu

"I want y'all to meet Deltron Zero and well: Willy Thiesen...the dude has a cow pissin on Whitney's offer!" - @bmohr1

Best thing since Smell Yo' Dick.

New Oaksterdam

Remember when the facility across the street from my office used to look like this? You don't? Well, that's okay, because neither do they.

Apparently they didn't quite clear all the hurdles before breaking out the size 40,000 font and the City took a bit of issue (a year later).

Behold, just finished this week, the sickest mural I think I've ever seen:



This sum' bitch is huge. Like the mostly legal plants inside of it.

French Advertisements; Or How to sell products to Lovers of Gay Big Game Cats

This Ad's for you B!
Via Gawker

Giant Roundabout in Lincoln met with Criticism.

The Lincoln police chief is about as common sense a public figure there is. I enjoy his approach to problems and I think his exhibits he presents are a nice example of how to think outside of the normal charts. A generally douchey post on my part, but interesting nonetheless, maybe.

Business killing DUI laws

Montana...I think that says it all.

Am I doing this right?